This is Darren Vaughan at the news desk. President Bush today said and I quote the CIA will be spreading their testicles like an octopus in a bid to infiltrate these bodhran dens and seek out the evil-doers who are responsible for brain washing young people into their service. Prime minister Blair who was looking on smuggly in the background said that president Bush's timing on this bodhran crisis couldn't have been better.

In a related story dissident National Bodhran Liberation Army leader Sammy Bin Lidden said that this is now a holy war and that the world will experience the mother, father, brother and sister of a row the like was never seen so it will.