Susan,

I'm not trying to be contrary, but it seemed to me that your anecdotal evidence didn't jibe with what I had read about statistics for subsequent marriages. Here are the most extensive statistics I could find in a quick google search, from a Gen-ex website on divorce. According to the statistics here, 50% of first marriages end in divorce, and 60% of subsequent marriages end in divorce in the US, which seems to be the opposite of what you are saying here. If the statistics given here are correct, that would mean the majority of people marrying and divorcing more than once DON'T seem to be learning from their mistakes, but instead are repeating them.

U.S. Divorce Statistics (1997 except where noted)

Marriage & Divorce: Total divorces granted: 1,163,000 Rate per 1,000 population (1999): (excluding CA, CO, IN and LA) 4.1 State with the lowest divorce rate: Massachusetts. Rate per 1,000 population: 2.4 State with the higest divorce rate: Nevada. Rate per 1,000 population: 9.0 Current number of divorced adults (1998): 19,400,000 (9.8%) Median age at divorce: Males: 35.6 Females: 33.2 Median duration of marriage: 7.2 years Likelihood of new marriages ending in divorce: 43% Percentage of all householders who are unmarried (2000): 48% Percentage of weddings which are remarriages for at least one partner: 43% Percentage of first marriages that end in divorce: 50% Percentage of remarriages that end in divorce: 60% Estimated average cost of divorce: $15,000 Estimated average length of divorce proceedings: 1 year Adults married and living with one another in 1998: 110.6 million (56%) Adults between 25 and 34 years old never married in 1998: 14 million (35%) Percentage of African American adults in this age group never married in 1998: 53% Percentage of women 65 years old and over who were widows in 1998: 45% Percentage of elderly widows living alone in 1998: 70% Percentage of households occupied by one person in 2000: 26% Percentage of population (by area of US) who had never married in 1999: Midwest: 28% Northeast: 28% South: 26% West: 29% People (by gender) who had never married in 1998: Males: 58,633,000 (58% of men) Females: 59,333,000 (55% of women) People who were married in 1998: Males: 31,591,000 (31% of men) Females: 26,713,000 (25% of women) People who had been widowed in 1998: Males: 2,569,000 (2% of men) Females:11,029,000 (10% of women) People who were divorced in 1998: Males: 8,331,000 (8%) Females: 11,093,000 (10%) Median age at first marriage in 1998: Males: 26.7 Females: 25 Average age at first divorce: Males: 35 Females: 33 Average age of those divorcing from their second marriages: Males: 42 Females: 39 Interracial married couples in 1998: 1,348,000 Average age of marriage: Males: 28.7 Females: 25.9 Number of cohabiting couples in 1998: 4.2 million Number of people divorcing each year: 2.5 million Average length of first marriages which end in divorce: 11 years Drop in standard of living of females after divorce, as of 2000: 45% Number of women who are stalked by a husband or ex-husband every year: 380,000 Number of men who are stalked by a wife or ex-wife every year: 52,000 People aged 25 to 39 make up 60% of all divorces, as of 1993. To download a PDF file from the National Center for Health Statistics listing the number of marriages and divorces state-by-state, click here. Click here for a state-by-state ranking of divorce rates. Children/Single parents: Number of children in new divorces each year: 1 million Percentage of parents who had never married in 1998: Males: 35% Females: 42% Percentage of households which were family households in 1998: 69% Percentage of family households containing children under 18 in 1998: 49% Percentage of married householders with kids in 2000: 24% Percentage of family households with children with only one parent in 1998: 27% Percentage of all households run by single moms in 1999: 9% Number of adults living in a home maintained by one or both parents in 1998: 22 million Number of single parents in 1998: Males: 2.1 million (5% of parent-child families) Females: 9.8 million Estimated number of children involved in divorce: 1,075,000 Rate per 1,000 population children under 18 involved in divorce: 16.8 Children under 18 years of age living with just one parent in 1998: 20 million (28%) Percentage of children in single-parent homes living with their mother in 1998: 84% Percentage of children living with single parents for whom no other adults were present in the household in 1998: 56% Children under 18 living in the household of their grandparents in 1998: 4 million (6%) Total families in which the child lived with two parents: 25.6 million Total single fathers maintaining their own household: 1.68 million Total single fathers living in the home of a relative: 240,000 Total single fathers who were divorced: 920,000 Total single fathers who had never married: 640,000 Total single fathers who were separated: 260,000 Total single fathers raising one child: 1,220,000 Total single fathers raising three or more children: 200,000 Percentage of children (by race) living in two-parent households in 1998: White: 74% Black: 36% Hispanic: 64% Percentage of children living with one parent who lived with a divorced parent: 38% Percentage of children living with one parent who lived with a never-married parent: 35% Percentage of children living with one parent who lived with a separated parent: 19% Percentage of children living with one parent who lived with a widowed parent: 4% Percentage of children living with one parent whose spouse lived elsewhere because of business or some other reason: 4% Percentage of children in two-parent households whose parents were college graduates in 1998: 29% Percentage of children in single-parent households whose parents were college graduates in 1998: 9% Percentage of children with single parents (by gender) earning under $12,500 in 1998: Living with fathers: 17% Living with mothers: 41% Single-parent children living in metropolitan areas: 14.5 million Single-parent children living in cities with populations of 1 million or more: 9.2 million Percentage of births which were to unmarried women: 32% Percentage of same-sex female householders with kids in 1998: 17% For US Census Bureau data on child support for custodial parents, please click here. In 1996, children of divorce were 50% more likely than their counterparts from intact families to divorce. In 19 states reporting custody: 72% of custody were awarded to the wife, 9% were awarded to the husband. In 16% joint custody was awarded. Parents who are awarded and receive child support have higher incomes. Fatherless homes account for 63% of youth suicides, 90% of homeless/runaway children, 85% of children with behavior problems, 71% of high school dropouts, 85% of youths in prison, well over 50% of teen mothers. Miscellaneous: Women earning more than their husbands in 1998: 10.5 million Percentage of smokers who had been divorced: 49% Percentage of nonsmokers who had been divorced: 32% Percentage of divorces due to economic problems: 4.2% Percentage of divorces due to irreconcilable differences: 80% (Sources: U.S. Census Bureau, National Center for Health Statistics, Americans for Divorce Reform, Institue for Equality in Marriage, American Association for Single People, Ameristat, Public Agenda)