Yes, I'm still here :)

"How can you say "I have the basic celtic hornpipe rhythm down" when there are two different hornpipe rhythms in circulation?"

Quite simple. I only knew of one of them :D

The tune is written in 4/4, and is written apparently nothing like it should actually sound -- which I knew -- but I'm finding out it's even worse than I thought.

In order to keep up the rhythm, I'm kinda slowing down the rhythm when I hit the quarter notes and dotted quarter notes. Come to think of it, I think they all fall as unaccented notes. It's okay, I guess, because at least I don't lose my place, but it doesn't quite sound right either.