From the Ironic Times here:

http://www.ironictimes.com/index.html

"Bush Invites Leaders of Lesser Nations to Join "Superpowers of Tomorrow" Club They'll get to ride in a fighter jet and receive "Jr. TerrorStopper" badges."

Also, from SatireWire.com:

FBI TO ISSUE 5-DAY TERROR FORECASTS Recognizable Format Should Make It Easier for Americans to Organize Week

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) — Abandoning the last-minute, panic-inducing warning system it has used until now, the FBI today said it will begin issuing regular, five-day terror forecasts. Today's outlook: light, scattered crises early, tapering off by noon. Tomorrow: Clear, and seasonably dangerous.

For the rest of the story (and a good graphic on how your Terror Forecasts will look!) go to:

http://www.satirewire.com/news/feb02/forecast.shtml