And this is probably the source they all sprang from:

From the Library of Congress American Memory Collection - my transcription from the sheet music:

FIFTY CENTS
(Words, Billy Mortimer. Music, Dan Lewis, 1881.)

I took my girl to a fancy ball. It was a social hop.
We stayed until the folks went out and the music it did stop.
Then to a restaurant we went, the best one on the street.
She said she was not hungry, but this is what she eat:
A dozen raw, a plate of slaw, a chicken and a roast,
Some sparrow grass with apple sass, and soft-shell crabs on toast,
A big box stew with crackers, too. Her hunger was immense.
When she called for pie, I thought I'd die, for I had but fifty cents.

She said so sweet that she was not well and did not care to eat.
Now I have money in my clothes that says she can't be beat.
I asked her what she'd have to drink. She's got an awful tank.
She said she was not thirsty, but this is what she drank:
A glass of gin, a whiskey skin. It made me shake with fear.
Some ginger-pop with rum on top, a schooner, then, of beer,
A glass of ale, a gin cocktail. She ought to have had more sense.
When she called for more, I dropped on the floor, for I had but fifty cents.

I told her that my head did ache and I did not care to eat,
Expecting every moment to get kicked into the street.
She said she'd bring her fam'ly round some day and have some fun.
I gave the clerk the fifty cents and this is what he done:
He smashed my nose and tore my clothes and hit me in the jaw.
He put my eyes in mourning deep and with me swept the floor.
He grabbed me where my pants were loose and kicked me o'er the fence.
Take my advice: don't try it twice when you have but fifty cents.

[There is a similar version in DigiTrad..]