I don't think we were necessarily made to live in pairs. Even in the wild, animals quite often have packs which share duties, even as cows will take turns "calf-sitting" each other's offspring. I think a lot of what is haywire in society today is that we've become unattached to multi-generational groups of family and friends, tribes, if you will, which may or may not offer extra sexual partners, but at the very least can fulfill emotional and other types of needs if the onus isn't on just one person to do so for just one other.

Rog and I have ironed out a lot of wrinkles over 23 years, but there was a time when I thought the happiest we were ever going to be was when our gay friend/brother, also named Roger, was here with us. He didn't live with us and we weren't sexual with him, though in his house none of us had any compunctions about being sexual in front of others, if they happened to be passing through the room we were in or some such. I greived when he had to move away; it felt as though a third part of us was just gone and there were some definite emotional needs which just were not being met on both our parts, for his having gone. We've always been in contact and I know of no one who knows my Rog as well as gay Rog, so he is a real comfort and still a part of us, regardless.

We've always thought of our marriage as open and have had a few short-term lovers, but no one we lived with; it's just been understood that that is not for us. It has also been a long while since either of us has been with anyone else. AIDS scared the hell out of us because we lost so many friends to it. The risk just has never been worth it, since.

Rick, I will watch for this docu. It sounds interesting and terribly sad. You know I am no prude, but I think it is sad that so many may be seeking something so fleeting and sometimes shallow, at such great risk. It also seems a way of avoiding looking within and confronting whatever *demons* drive one to constantly be looking for more "thrills."

I would like to see a more honest way of living which would accomodate emotional, sexual, etc. needs without tying it down to two people exclusively. I know we all have friends who can help out, but I really think a tribal type living situation would be interesting to try out and watch evolve. Remember our Mudcat Retirement Community threads? Something like that...living in a deliberate community with common buildings for meals, music-making, jello-*wrasslin* etc.

Ah, well, I am rambling. Interesting thread. I was just young enough in the late 60's to still live by my family's conventions and get married when I got pregnant...missed out on the whole free love type thing until I was divorced at 21!*bg*

kat