The mistake we humans often make is assuming that anyone person is the only person we need for all our needs. We sometimes try to establish a heirarchy of closeness (not necessarily sexual) and have our spouse at the top, followed by a heriarchy of friends and family. I find that I am surprisingly open with complete strangers about some things, have friends with who I share a large portion of my deepest feelings, have opposite sex relationships that have meaningful relations (though not sexual). These other relationships all help me be a better husband/father. I have a close relationship with my wife - but the other relationships are important to me as well.

I think it is foolish to say that we are now a more enlightened society and we can laugh at the conventions and moral codes of the past ... we risk throwing away many years of conventional wisdom that has developed and we risk throwing the baby out with the bath water. Likewise simply accepting a 'canned morality' without analysis and consideration is short sighted. I worked carefully on developing a moral framework, based upon a few guiding principles ... I viewed conventional wisdoms and tried to understand their values, I continue to this day to review my values - but I do not have a canned or even a hard 'decision tree' - I am capable of reviewing each decision as it faces me and I am careful to follow my conscience.

I'll repeat my comments from earlier; I find that monogamy is worthy goal and an art I have worked to master, for most of my life. My relationship with my wife is most valuable to me - in deed if I were facing its end I would trade the rest of my life for one more day. A monogamous relationship may be significant effort - but it most certainly can be its own reward.