Can't find the words written anywhere. This is from memory.

LA-DI-DUM

On the 17th of March in La-di-da-di-da,
A son was born to Mrs. Da-di-dum.
He had two arms, two legs, a mouth, a nose and ears,
And the usual La-di-da-di-da-di-dum.

They duly christened him La-di-da-di-da.
They gave his second name as Da-di-dum;
And throughout his life, and he lived for 90 years,
He was known as La-di-da-di-da-di-dum.

Now as he grew up, his La-di-da-di-da
Grew quicker than his other Da-di-dum;
And when he was 15, everyone remarked
On his great big La-di-da-di-da-di-dum.

He met a girl in La-di-da-di-da.
She was pretty, but a little Da-di-dum.
But the reason that he like her best, was she
Didn't mind his great big La-di-da-di-da-di-dum.

Her mother was awfully La-di-da-di-da.
Her father was completely Da-di-dum.
But she took him home to dinner of Salmon Mayonnaise
And a plate of La-di-da-di-da-di-dum.

Now all went well till La-di-da-di-da.
He bent to take a bite of Da-di-dum.
He couped his plate and the Salmon Mayonnaise (cow'pt = tipped)
Fell upon his La-di-da-di-da-di-dum.

Her mother cried loudly, "La-di-da-di-da!"
Her father sort of mumbled, "Da-di-dum."
And her mother said, "Dear, you must try to find a boy,
With a smaller La-di-da-di-da-di-dum."

But they married in the spring of La-di-da-di-da.
They honeymooned in lovely Da-di-dum;
But they found they couldnae get in a double bed
For his great big La-di-da-di-da-di-dum.

So they decided La-di-da-di-da,
To use two single beds instead of one.
They slept together and they used the other one
Just to hold his La-di-da-di-da-di-dum.

(I think there may be a verse here about their children)

On the 19th of June in La-di-da-di-da,
He took ill with an attack of Da-di-dum;
So they tied him up in bandages that ended in a bow
Round his La-di-da-di-da-di-dum.

But he died on the morn of La-di-da-di-da,
A victim of the dreaded Da-di-dum.
They put him in his coffin, but they couldnae shut the lid
For his great big La-di-da-di-da-di-dum.

So the undertaker, La-di-da-di-da,
Decided on a plan for Da-di-dum.
He made another coffin, roughly three feet two by one,
Just to hold his La-di-da-di-da-di-dum.

Now you can read on his tombstone, "La-di-da-di-da,
The son of La-di-da-di-dum.
Here lies his body, and in the next grave up but one,
Lies his La-di-da-di-da-di-dum."