Help. I have been held captive by the EFDSS, the para-military wing of the folk movement for 30 years. They have kept me here with mind altering dance routines.

Lots of us joined in the heady days of the 60's and 70's when every where had Folk Clubs. We were just innocent young people with silly ideas about changing music, dance, the nature of performance and hence the whole of society.

Comrades Lloyd, McColl and Seeger had warned us about the EFDSS in that famous song 'Left wing Folkyness - an infantile disorder'. But no, we committed ourselves to the lot. Singarounds in obscure pubs until we drove out ordinary people. Music sessions played so fast only serious anoracks could join in. Folk Clubs with guests so obscuer and boring that even the rank and file stpooed comming. Summer Holidays in small seaside towns to immerse ouselves in the true faith. Endless arguments about the nature of folk song, should women dance the sacred Morris and how soon would Mumming replace all other forms of drama.

We really believed we were The People, we formed alliances with other par-military groups like the Morris Ring but it only led to factionalism and in-fighting. Safe within our sect, we soon scared off all the doubters and now their are only a few of us left and I am not to sure about some of them

Please join us and bring the masses with you to the only para-military group that can make England great again

Or, better still, I am prepared to make a break and stop the direct debit as long as I am treated sensitively and nobody mentions Cecil, Maude or dancing with out alcohol.