The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #9944   Message #66420
Posted By: gargoyle
28-Mar-99 - 12:07 AM
Thread Name: Banjo Jokes, let the dueling begin....
Subject: RE: Banjo Jokes, let the dueling begin....
(Throws banjo out the window)'ve thrown my banjo out the window!!!
@It was out of tune, anyway.

~My wife used to play the banjo a lot, but since the shildren came she doesn't have time
@Children are a comfort, aren't they?

~Would you donate five dollars to bury a saxophone player?
@Here's thrity dollars, bury six of 'em.

~Don't you just love the sweet twang of banjo player?
@I'd rather hear his death rattle.

~What's the matter with the banjo player?
@He bent down to snipe a cigar butt and someone stepped on this hand and broke two he plays only the blue notes.

~A man offered $100 a string to me to stop playing the banjo.
@Did you stop?
~Yeah - now I'm learning to play the harp.

~Your wife just eloped with the banjo player who lives next door?
~You take it rather calm - you don't seem to be surprised or excited!
No, there's no reason to be. We stood the banjo clanging as long as we could. This morning the wife and I tossed to see who should get rid of him. She lost

~Your son is making good progress with his banjo. He is beginning to play quite nice tunes.
@Do you realy think so? We were afraid that we'd merely got used to it.

~I just got rid of my banjo in part exchange for a new car.
@I didn't think they accepted things like that for a car.
~Well, this case was an exception. The dealer happened to be our next door neighbor.

Before I learned to play the banjo I used to be troubled with my neighbors, but now I haven't any neighbors.

~He's a banjo player.
@How did he get that bump on his head?
~Playing a banjo
@Oh, in front of someone's house?
~No, in front of the trombone player.

~I don't think the gentleman next door know much about music.
~Well, he told me this morning to cut my banjo open and see whas was inside it.

~I want a samll place in an isolated popsition - somewhere at least five miles from any other house.
@I see, sir - you want to practice the simple life.
~Not at all. I want to practice the banjo.

~I see you advertised your banjo for sale.
@Yes, I saw my neighbor in the hardware store yesterday buying a gun.

~These expensive banjoes are worth a thousand dollars, but I will take 50.
@There must be a string attached to it.

~Does your banjo player requests?
@A lot of times
~Ask him to play pinochle.

~Why do you go over to the window and lean out whenever I play the banjo?
@I want to let the neighbors know it isn't me that is playing.

~Yes, I'm a good banjo player.
@Where did you learn to play?
I granduated from a correspondence school.
@Boy, you sure lost lots of your mail.

~I am going away to study banjo playing
@Good,.... how far away?

~I don't like that banjo player...something is wrong with him...something is missing.
@Maybe his tin cup.

~Why do you always cry when you play the banjo? @I don't know - but every time I play tears come to my eyes.
~Why not stuff cotton in your ears?

~I hear that you are a musician
@No, but I own a banjo.

~Why do you always play the same piece?
@It haunts me.
~It should, you've murdered it often enough.