~When they tried the banjo player the judge had to let min go free.
@Why?
~The banjo player was deaf
@What has that got to do with it?
~Well, don't you know that you can't convict a man with a hearing?

~My wife says if I don't chuck the banjo, she will leave me.
@I say!!! Hard luck
~Ye-es.....I'll miss the old gal.

~My husband has practiced a little piece for the banjo
@Good....its about time we a little peace.

~Do you play and sing much?
@Only to kill time
~I must admit...you certainly have a fine weapon.

~I hear that you andyour neighbor are on the outs. What happended?
@I've been taking banjo lessons, and the other day he sent over a note with an ax attached...it said, "Try this for a finger pick."

~You say your son plays banjo like Doc Watson?
@Yes, he uses both hands.

~My son can do anything with the banjo.
@Could he lock in a closet and throw away the key?

~Your banjo playing seems a little raw.
@It shouldn't be...it has been roasted enough.

~My son's banjo lessons are a fortune to me.
@How is that?
~They allowed me to buy my neighbor's house at half price.

~Have you ever speculated on why you are so popular in your neighborhood?
@"No, except that I told my neighnbors that I always played the banjo when I got lonely."

~I'm convinced that the music publishers have a conspiracy against me.
@What makes you think so?
~Then of them have refused the same recording.