What I wonder about the Nigerian scams is...why Nigeria? Why do they all come from Nigeria? I've personally received 3 or 4 Nigerian scams by mail in the past five years, several by fax, and several by email.

Every one of them was from a different source, with different details, but the same essential scam.

So why Nigeria? Why not Zimbabwe, Botswana, Finland, Morocco, Lichtenstein, Singapore...?

Just what the hell is going on in Nigeria? I am beginning to wonder if these scams are the main source of income in that country.

I send back ridiculous replies to them, saying all kinds of bizarre stuff. I got one (an email) from a Mr. Peter Ahmed (made-up name), and said to him more or less the following:

Peter! What a delight to hear from you after all these years! This must mean you have been released from prison, and I am so happy about that I can't tell you!

You say that you have to move $92 million from Nigeria, and that if I make the banking arrangements as per your instructions, I will receive 10 % of it, namely $9.2 million dollars.

Peter, this is a very generous offer, and I am eternally grateful...but I simply cannot take it. I cannot take advantage of an old friend in that fashion.

I will gladly assist you for free in moving the funds, and will furthermore give you $5 million absolutely gratis.

Why will I do this? Because, Peter, you are the kind of friend who is worth sort kind of money to me. Besides, I think now that you are finally out of jail you will probably want to relocate to some more agreeable place to do business, some place where your reputation is not tarnished by rumour and innnuendo...like Uganda, for example. Relocating costs money, you know that as well as I do, and I am not the kind who forgets his friends in time of need.

I will be sending you the $5 million in installments of a penny a month, for as long as it takes.

Forward me your address IMMEDIATELY and expect to receive your first penny in the mail shortly.

Ever your friend and obedient servant,

(Me)

I never got a reply from Peter Ahmed.

- LH