Sentiment and hysteria aside, here's my response:

We Never Did Care Too Much for Grandma

(Tune: Little Old Sod Shanty on the Plain
or Okie from Muskogee, as preferred)

We really never cared too much for Gramma;
We didn't like the way she'd piss and moan
But we're feeling kinda blue,
And we're half-inclined to sue,
At the disrespect they showed to Gramma's bones.
 

Chorus:

She was much too bad for heaven

And much too mean for Hell.

So where our Gramma ended up,

No-one can really tell.

And I'm not surprised her horny hide

Was much too tough to burn,

But what the hell is that in Gramma's urn?

Ol' Gramma always acted like a hellion,
We couldn't stand the things she'd say an' do
Though her spirit was like leather
They left her bones out in the weather,
Now she's out there causing grief for someone new.

Cho.

Now we don't much care what became of  Gramma;
Up-town or 'cross the tracks, it's all the same
We can't know her brand new handle
But this crematory scandal
Is a dirty downright slur on Grampa's name

Cho.
 

We really never cared too much for Gramma;
We didn't like the way she'd piss and moan
But we're feeling kinda blue,
And we're half-inclined to sue,
At the disrespect they showed to Gramma's bones.
 

Regards,

A