Yes, that was her obit, thanks, I had looked for it unsuccessfully, guess I was a day off.

I want to tell you all about her ceremonies, as they were (to my mind suprisingly) beautiful and comforting. The service at the University Chapel was done in a slightly Quaker-meeting-ish way, where there were some prepared statements but mostly, anybody who wanted to say something, could. Very little was said of gods, but Amazing Grace and a few hymns were sung (I couldn't sing along, too many tears in the way). The father who raised her gave a lovely eulogy, and even her sister (age 17) was able to say a few words, I was impressed. The Twin Oaks crowd, who've known Dorian since birth and her parents even longer, had made the coffin themselves, dug the grave themselves, and chose a lovely, lovely place to put her. There are maybe 10-12 graves there, all bounded by something like stones, some with headstones, most without. AllanC, if you know the area, she's on the hillside right at Margaret's feet. Dorian was borne in by 2 uncles, 2 Twin Oakers, and 2 college friends, placed so her head was uphill. They sang a round as she was lowered, Dear friend, dear friend / let me tell you how I feel / You have given me such pleasure / I love you so (to the tune of a slow HeighHo Nobody Home). I couldn't sing then, but I'd sung to her at her hospital bed, and sang later at the post-funeral party thing. We all got a chance to toss a handful on her coffin in the grave, I opted for the rose petals (roses to deaden the clods as they fall), then people were throwing handfuls of dirt (her sister first), then shovelfuls, and all of a sudden I realized we were just burying her. When the grave was filled, people planted flowers, bulbs and suchlike all over the mound. It was absolutely beautiful.

What I sang later was the version of Streets of Laredo I know from of old, whence the line about Roses to deaden the clods as they fall. That kind of epitomizes to me this particular death - given that it was basically her own bad decision that led her to this end. At one point a story was told about her falling out of the loft at TO, landing unharmed in between two large piles of hammocks which broke her fall. Her dad said he thought that it was that which might have given her the taste for gymnastics and diving... and later, talking about the same story, her Mom said "I'm sure the only reason she's alive today is that she landed on her feet instead of her head..." there was a very loud silence as we all tried to find a way to continue the conversation... and then she said something like Oh, that's right, she's not alive today, laughed and went on... poignant as all getout, indeed. And I got back to work today and some colleagues had sent flowers, which was really nice, it wasn't my own department, but some folks I work with often who are mostly in other states anyway... very sweet.

And tomorrow I go in for that foot surgery, so I'll be offline for a while again. Thanks, all.