Yes, people, it is March 22nd, and you know what that means! It's William Shatner's birthday! On this most auspicious day of the year there will be a gala celebration at the WSSBA in beautiful Orillia, Ontario, Canada.In fact, the festivities have already begun! Scantily clad space nymphets in revealing tights are waiting to ply you with Romulan ale while you view reruns of every single episode of Star Trek that ever featured our beloved Bill, the Big Kahuna of intergalactic space heroes. That's a whole lotta episodes, folks....
Thrill to Shatner's voice intoning the famous intro "These are the voyages...To boldly go...etc." issuing at regular intervals over our sound systems. Thrill to Dr. McCoy's voice saying "He's dead, Jim." over and over again. Thrill to Spock's voice saying "Illogical." Thrill again to Spock's voice saying "Fascinating!"
Everyone is invited...except Spaw. He's still "in bad odour" around here because of certain uncalled for remarks he's made in the past regarding William Shatner, so too bad, Spaw, yer just gonna have to sit down there in Ohio and sulk! (We did find a Big Mouth Billy Bass in Orillia to send you though, as a consolation for missing out on this event. It was on display at a local fish and chips restaurant. The owner had removed the batteries for some reason, so it wasn't working, but we persuaded him to donate the fish to the WSSBA...he seemed strangely eager to part with it, in fact...and we have installed new batteries...and it works! Expect to receive it in the mail shortly.)
I should mention that there is a "tribble room" at the Shatner Birthday Bash where you can go and be up to your neck in delightful, furry little tribble replicas (sort of like beanie babies, but without the beans). We also have a giant tribble mounted on the cenotaph at the main entrance. It's the size of a large rhinoceros. If you poke it, it squeaks.
Come one, come all!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BILL! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BILL! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BILL SHATNER....HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BILL!!!
- LH
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