Sharon A penned: "I dunno, I found Night Owl's thread depressing. Not because of the stories of tragedy in her life, but because of the stories of all the things she has done with her life. Makes me think, "Geez, I'm 45 and I haven't done sh** with mine!!!!" (I'm not sure how true that really is, but one tends to think in absolute negatives when one is in a funk!)"

I hear that! Recently (in terms of my whole life) I learned something to help with this one, though. In order to change your perception/self image for the long haul (so that it carries through even during the tough times), you have to make a habit of looking at what is good and right in your life. The things you have done well, and try not to make many comparisons. Even when faced with internal or external judgmental behaviour, you have to continue looking at what it is you have done that is good and right. I learned this by looking at my kid, and watching when she *really* learned and grew the most. It is always when she is positive, and is recieving positive reinforcement, especially in moments of stress. When she is feeling bad about herself, or when she is being criticized, she learns how to feel bad, but nothing really changes. In order for her to move beyond it, she needs to be positive. And I discovered that, even though I am 40 years of age, I am no different. What is different for me though is that I am cognizant of the fact that I play the primary role in my own happiness, and that the worlds opinions are simply that, their opinions, and not necessarily "the truth".

Now if I could just make my heart believe it 24/7, I'd be doing really well.