The Drapers' Appeal

Air: Pat Haggerty's and Leather Breeches

Aw've oft heerd it said, tho ne 'tenshun aw've paid
Te words that aw've just tret as ficshun,
That man wes but born te be plauged neet an' morn,
An'wrmmin te be contradicshun,
Till aw saw bills stuck oot- the toon roond aboot,
Advortisements te i' the papors,
Advisin the Ladies te shop before Six,
If they'll de a gud turn for the Drapors!

Tawkin- Shop afore Six, maw hinnies, an' afore Ten on Seturday neets, ye munnit imagin ivrybody lies i' bed a' Sunday if ye de,
-an' if ye gan te church, foaks 'll think varry little on ye if they knaw ye war oot se late the neet afore;
besides, ye might varry easy get intiv a street row. What wad yor man think if ye war gawn
hyem wi' yor nose broke?

It's better te gan throo the day when yor man's
At wark, like a true son o' Brittin,
Then shop late at neet when it's only yor reet
At his side te be cannily sittin!
So gan throo the day withoot ony delay,
When the shop's byeth clean, tidy, an' bonny,
An' oblige byeth the maister an' man if ye can,
An' they'll myek ye as welcome as ony.

Tawkin- Here's a fine speciment o' the evil effects o' shoppin
eftor six- Bessie Broon fell over a shutter an' spoilt her new hat
wi' rowlin intiv a guttor. The vordick wes sarved her reet. Thor's
ne simpithy for the wilful.

For small or greet gains the'll a' tyek ivry pains,
An' sarve ye wi' pride an' wi plisshor,
Ne blsuterin then, but like gud sivvil men--
Attend te yor wants wi' gud messhor;
But oif eftor six ye shud gan, it's a fex,
Yor visit's just like an intrushun,
For packin away--ne attenshun they'll pay,
An' ne cumfort ye'll find i' confushun!

Mair Tawkin-
Lasses, dinnit shop eftor six, it lucks badly
swaggrin throo the streets at that time; foaks might think ye war
luckin for a lad amang the factory cheps.

Dinnit shop late at neet!- for ye knaw it's not reet
Te hindor a man frev injoymint,
Withoot plague or pest let him hev a bit rest,
Ye'll nivor get thenks for annoymint;
So oblige if ye can, an' ye'll nivor get rang
If ye dinnit aw's pleased when aw miss ye,
But faith if ye de, jolly frinds we'll seun be,
An' for ivor, maw hinnies, aw'll bliss ye.

-Source: Joe Wilson, Tyneside Songs and Drolleries