I've dug out the old single. Who's Frank Skerrit? It was actually by Frank Kelly, very,very,very Irish, prob Dub, in 1983. Called "Christmas Countdown" ("traditional"). I believe it was a big hit in Ireland and only a minor one in UK. Don't have time to transcribe the whole thing now - big job with no "pause" control. The first two verses are;

Day One. Dear Nuala, thank you very much for your lovely present of a partridge in a pear tree. We're getting the hang og feeding the partridge now although it was difficult at first to win its confidence. It bit the mother rather badly on the hand but they're good friends now and we're keeping the pear tree indoors in a bucket. Thank you again. Yours affectionately Guvnot(?) O'Lunacy.

Day Two. Dear Nuala, I cannot tell you how surprised we were to hear from you soon again and to receive your lovely present of two turtle doves. You really are too kind. At first the partridge was very jealous and suspicious of the doves and they had a terrible rowin' the night the doves arrived. We had to send for the vet and the stitches are due to come out in a week or two. The vets bill came to nearly 12 pounds.

After this the chaos gradually builds up ending up with the poor ould mother on two bottles of whiskey a day plus 128 grains of valium in "a home for the bewildered"! "Dear Nuala" becomes "ye ould bag" and "slurryhead", the vets bill skyrockets, terrible goings on between the eight maids a milking and the eleven lords a leaping, etc.

Extremely funny!