G'day Siwells,

This song, by Chris Clarke, of Canberra, Australia (now in The Shiny Bum Singers ... [writing and] singing the folksongs and work shanties of the Australian Federal Public Servants ...?!?) was requested a year or two back and I finally got the words. I can't find the thread ... and seem to have cancelled my trace on it. The system is running too slow for me to do a full search, but I now have the words on file:

Both Sides Now (The Toast Song)
© 1971. Chris Clarke

In morning time when I arise
My breakfast fare is no surprise,
I pour the cornflakes, make the tea
And then reach for the bread.
I turn the gas on, light the grill,
And think this time I really will
Stay wide awake, make perfect toast
And start the day well-fed …
I'll lightly toast it both sides now,
Both up and down
To golden brown,
The toasting time I will recall,
I really can make toast
… After all.

But then I read, to pass the time,
The cornflakes advertising rhyme,
I hear the news, but don't take in
A single item read.
And then an old familiar smell
Invades the dream world where I dwell,
And fills the room with flames and smoke
And fumes of burning bread …
I've burnt the toast on both sides now,
Both front and back -
To charcoal black,
The toasting time I don't recall,
I really can't make toast
… After all.

And so I scrape it in the bin,
Which makes the slices rather thin,
Then wipe the knife upon the cloth
Back in my dream-like state.
I butter it with marmalade,
Then to correct the mess I've made
Spread butter on the other side
And stick it to the plate …
My toast is buttered both sides now,
Both left and right,
I'm none too bright,
The buttering I don't recall,
I really can't make toast
… At all.

Regards,

Bob Bolton