Talkin' Gittar Blues

If you wanna to get in trouble let me tell you how to do it
Getcha a gittar and you're right into it
Practice all day and half the night
Folk's keep sayin' ya' never will get it right
Always fussing atcha'
Griping,
Grousin' around
Won't let you practice.
Tryin' to run ya' out into the henhouse.

I bought a gittar 'bout a year ago,
The feller said I'd learn in a week or so
Gave me a Book and a pick or two,
Said, "There ya' go, Bub, it's up to you."
That dirty Dog!
Wish I could see him now,
Charged me $4.95....
Every cent of money I had too.......

For weeks and weeks I labored hard,
Just tryin' to learn them three old chords
The book said it was easy as A.B.C.
But man my fingers was a-killin' me,
Got right sore on the ends,
Couldn't mash the strings down.
Felt wore out....
Disgusted......
Wanted ta' quit......

But I practiced hard both night and day,
I could see Ma's hair was turnin' gray.
Her face was lined with discontent,
She said her patience was damn near spent!
Said her ears was ringing,
Felt nervous....
Agitated........
Wanted to scream......

My sister took it worst of all,
She got married that coming fall,
She says it was love, but I got my doubts,
I think my gittar chased her out,
She's a game gal,
Won't admit it though,
Real Cool....
Just couldn't take it.

My Father he took it in a different way,
Said, "Son, you may turn your Ma's hair gray,
And run your sister from home, but Son,
Either me or you one is a-goin' roamin',
And I ain't leaving Boy......
I never intended to.....
You figger it out."

But since I'd already spent my dough,
I couldn't let it go to waste, ya' know?
So I took my Guitar, Book and all,
I was a-headin' out....standin' tall
Mebbee go ta' Nashville,
Get me a big Hat,
Fancy checkered shirt.....
Snakeskin boots......
Re-paint my Guitar,
Make it look like a D-28....
Mebbee not......

Next morning, I slung my gittar acrosst my back,
I headed down the railroad track.
I caught the end of a long freight train,
To search the world for my share of Fame,
But I ain't found any........
Nothin but heartaches......
Hardship......
Hand-outs....
Would someone please pass the offering plate?

Spaw