Finally dug out the tape and wore out the pause button to get this lot. You were spot on with that, Rog. Aussiebloke, good job you mentioned the Nightcap version, as I'd clean forgotten it. Here goes.

WINE WITH DINNER

Don't know who I insulted. Maybe it was you.
The drinks I had resulted in a tirade or two.
I went to town to get in trouble. I accomplished that.
Drank some drinks, flew off the handle, right off of the bat.

CHORUS:
Drinks before dinner and wine with dinner and after-dinner drinks.
Single entendre, help me, Rhonda, look for my cufflinks.
Come with me and you will see it all will be all right.
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Wino's gonna guide our sleigh tonight.

Sometimes when I drink too much, the next day I can't think.
Sometimes when I drink too much, the next day I can't drink.
Sometimes when I drink too much, I feel like throwing up.
Sometimes when I drink too much, I cannot get it up.

CHORUS

Fiddle/honky-tonk piano/guitar break

They say that drink will shrivel my liver and also wreck my looks.
But my hero is Deano Martin. I like Foster Brooks.
I know a little cozy joint where you and I can go.
Let's us spend a lost weekend under the volcano.

CHORUS (fades by Rudolph)

WINE WITH DINNER (NIGHTCAP)

(Fades up with instrumental break)
(Loudon as drunk as a monkey)

Keep your hemp and your mushrooms, your smack and Nembutal
Me, I'm into fruit and grains. Gimme alcohol.
Call me thirsty. Call me oral. Call me what you like.
When I'm sober, call me Loudon. Do not call me back.

CHORUS

.... Help me, Rhonda, search for missing links.

(Fades out to drunken tap dance)

Apologies to Loudon for dishing out the lyric, but it's a great song, and no one can quite do it like him.

Skipjack

HTML line breaks added. --JoeClone, 11-Apr-02.