Definition of an optimist:
A Banjo player with a beeper!

I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to a song and I say, "I think I might have written that."

Don't tell my mom I'm a banjo player. She thinks I'm a piano player in a house of ill repute!

How can you get six banjo players to play in harmony?
Give only one of them a banjo!