Dear H
I have done a little ranting of my own in PMs lately, but you are facing some big deals here -- you have my sympathy.
You've gotten great advice here. I would only add this -- Walking an hour each way to work (or half an hour, or 45 minutes) every day would probably be great for you. It's spring, and the exercise would help you sleep well, and the time walking is a time for calming and creative thought. Don't rule it out. Let yourself slow down if you can. You are wonderfully young, and you have lots of time to do what you're going to do. Walk in any case, work or no work; just walk around and look at the neighborhood, the buildings, the sky, the passersby, the cars.
I hope everything starts to get easier for you very soon!