Bobby and Bet

Bob Nicholson alwis like't his beer,
Their Betty wis fon iv hor gin;
They had ne bairns te bother thor lives,
An neboody used to gan in.
Bob was a regilar quiet man,
Their Betty wis quite the revarse;
Aw've heerd folks say the Devil wis bad,
But Bob swore Betty wis warse.

Chorus
So Bobby an' Bet wis exactly met,
To pairt them it wad be a shem;
For if Bob gets drunk it th' public hoose,
Their Betty gets drunk it yem.

Bob went one neet an' gat mortil drunk
Their Betty cried oot for shem;
He wis lyin drunk ipon the road,
And she was drunk it yem.
She jump't off hor seat en on tive hor feet,
Wi the candil an' knife iv hor hands,
For te cut a bit meat for Bobby te eat,
But sh didn't knaw wen he wid land.

Chorus:

She cut the meat an' fetch't the plate,
An started te scrub the pan oot:
She torn'd that duzzie, she fel back ower,
Sh' had te leeve go iv the cloot.
Aw's clivvor, sh' sais, so she put off hor clais—
She showt thit she'd finished hor job-

Thor wis nowt but the dish cloot left I' the pan.
An' a forst rate supper for Bob.

Chorus
When Bob com yem he teuk off his claes,
He thowt she'd fried him sum pork;
So he clapt the dish-cloot on te plate,
An luck'd for his knife an' fork
He started te eat his little bit meat,
My word, but, he sais it's teuf,
The butchor's either muaid a mistake
Or else it isn't eneuf.

Chorus:

Bob jumpt on the flor an' cursed an' swor,
Thit his suppor wid cawse his deeth;
There wis lumps ev cloot the size o' me airm
Stickin between his teeth,
He nearly went mad wi' the support he'd had,
He wisht awl the butchors wis deed;
He teuk up the sissors an' went te their Bet,
An cut awl the hair off hor heed.

Spoken- Betty's joined the Blue Ribon Army an drinks nowt but bittor beer; she sais gin used te muaik hor drunk.

One Good Source:Polisses & Candymen, The Complete Works of Tommy Armstrong, The Pitman Poet,  ed. Ross Forbes, TommyArmstrong Memorial Trust, 1987.