Funny you should mention eternal questions, Stephen; I just received an e-mail list of "Imponderables" from a friend yesterday:


1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

2. Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?

3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

6. When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put your two cents in... what happens to the other penny?

7. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

8. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

9. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

10. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?

11. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

12. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, why aren't electricians delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

14. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

15. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

16. Since American mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

17. How come no one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning?

18. What would the speed of lightning be if it didn't zigzag?

19. If you played a blank tape at full blast, would it bother the mime next door?

20. Think about Preparation H. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?