Not wanting to be responsible for killing another thread (and wanting to read the rest of Banjer's stash of hundreds) I decided to revive this thread. And while I'm here, I might as well add another couple of oldies--these I got from Ron Thomasson on the Dry Branch Fire Squad's "Live at Last" album:

What's the best way to tune a banjo?
@Wire cutters.

What are the first words a banjo player learns?
@"Attention, K-Mart shoppers.>"

--seed