This was recently sent to me by a friend of mine in Chicago. If you are offende by jokes about religion you might want to stop reading now. On of the best aspects of this piece is that it has something to yank just about everyone's chain. **********************************************************

Diet Satisfaction Survey

God would like to thank you for your belief and patronage. In order to better seve your needs, The Almighty asks that you take a few moments to answer the following questions:

1) How did you find out about your diety? __ Newspaper __Bible __Torah __Koran __Television __Book of Mormon __Divine Inspiration __Dead Sea Scrolls __My Mama Done Told Me __Near Death Experience __Near Life Experience __National Public Radio __BBC World Service __Tabloid __Burning Shrubbery __Other(specify):__________

2) Which model diety did you acquire? __Jehova __Jesus __Krishna __Father, Son and Holy Ghost (Trinity Pak) __Zeus and enourage (Olympus Pak) __Odin and entourage (Vahalla Pak) __Allah __Satan __Gaia/Mother Earth/Mother Nature __God 1.0a (Hairy Thunderer) __God 1.0b (Cosmic Muffin) __None of the above. I was taken by a false god.

3) Did you diety come to you undamaged, with all parts in good working order and with no obvious breakage or missing attributes? __Yes __No

If "no" please describe the problems you initially encountered here. Indicate all that apply. __Not Eternal __Finite in space (does not inhabit or occupy entire universe) __Not Omniscient __Not Omnipresent __Not infinitely plastic (unable to be all things to all creation) __Permits sex outside of marriage __Prohibits sex outside of marriage __Makes or permits bad things to happen to good people __Makes or permits good things to happen to bad people __Looks after life other than that on Earth __Makes mistakes __When beseeched doesn't stay beseeched __Requires burnt offerings __Requires virgin sacrifices __Requires too much money

There is much more to this. I'll finish it in another post. Stephen