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A COUPLE OF SWELLS
(Irving Berlin)
(From the film "Easter Parade," 1948.)

BOTH: We're a couple of swells.
We stop at the best hotels,
But we prefer the country far away from the city smells.
We're a couple of sports,
The pride of the tennis courts.
In June, July, and August, we look cute when we're dressed in shorts.

HANNAH [Judy Garland]: The Vanderbilts have asked us up for tea.

DON [Fred Astaire]: We don't know how to get there, no sirree.

BOTH: No sirree.
We would drive up the avenue, but we haven't got the price.
We would skate up the avenue, but there isn't any ice.
We would ride on a bicycle, but we haven't got a bike.
So, we'll walk up the avenue, yes, we'll walk up the avenue, and to walk up the avenue's what we like.

Wall Street bankers are we.
With plenty of currency.
We'd open up the safe but we forgot where we put the key.
We're the favorite lads
Of girls in the picture ads.
We'd like to tell you who we kissed last night, but we can't be cads.

HANNAH: The Vanderbilts are waiting at the club.

DON: But, how are we to get there? That's the rub.

BOTH: That's the rub.
We would sail up the avenue but we haven't got a yacht.
We would drive up the avenue but the horse we had was shot!
We would ride on a trolley car but we haven't got the fare.
So we'll walk up the avenue, yes, we'll walk up the avenue, yes, we'll walk up the avenue till we're there.

We would swim up the avenue but we haven't any lake.
So we'll walk up the avenue, yes, we'll walk up the avenue. Yes, a walk up the avenue's what we'll take.