Here's one kinda' related to your question. If you have ever jockeyed gas for a living, you know that giving directions takes more time than anything else......everyone seems lost and unable to read a map! We had a station on the freeway but Denny and I had opened a large new garage several miles away. We kept the station though and Den's brother ran it. It also suppled us with some additiona; mechanical business due to it's location. So............

It's a pleasant summer afternoon and I've had to run out to our freeway station to fix a stranded traveller's car. Before going back to the shop, I'm having a coke and BSing with a couple of our gasjocks out front. Remember those days? Complete underhood check, clean windshield and rear window, and you sat in your car and didn't have to do a thing, all for about 35 cents a gallon! Anyway, a new Buick deuce and a quarter drives in and the guy gets out dressed in expensive sports clothes, the woman waits in the car. He looks distastefully at us and asks,

"How much farther is it to St. Louis?"


This wasn't really a stupid question, but one we didn't hear often since we were on the far east side of Columbus, Ohio. I'd just been out that way a little before, so I answered, "Oh, I'd say it's about 500 miles or thereabouts." Stanley Snappy looks at me like I'm an idiot and quite nastily says, "That's ridiculous." I'm immediately pissed, but keep it "quiet." Stanley continues, "It can't be that far!" The rest of the conversation was close to this:

ME: Well, I dunno', it's something like that.
SS: Can't be. Can't be that far.
ME: OK, so it's 475.
SS: That's ridiculous.
ME: Look man, I just drove through St. Louis last month and it's 500 miles from HERE.
SS: It can't be.
ME: Alright, I give up.....How far should it be?
SS: It can't be more than a hundred miles. We left home at 11 this morning.
ME: Really? Well, uh......Where's home?
SS: Kokomo.
ME: As in Indiana? (Gasjocks are cracking up)
SS: Of course!
ME: Well this would be Columbus as in Ohio......of course.
SS: (Just stares---Still doesn't get it, looks at the laughing gasjocks)
ME: Well lookit here sport, I'd say you took a wrong turn in Indy.
SS: What do you mean?
ME: I guess I mean you fucked up. This is OHIO!!!
SS: Huh?
ME: Jesus Jack, you've been driving the wrong fuckin' way for 3 hours.
SS: I have?
ME: Hey, no shit!
SS: Oh God, now what am I gonna' do?
ME: Personally I'd head back WEST on 70, but that'd just be me.
SS: Yeah...No, that's not what I meant. I mean what am I going to tell my wife.


.......and for the first time, I actually empathized with this idiot. His personality had changed about 180 degrees in 10 seconds and I had a feeling it was going to be a REAL LONG DRIVE to St. Louis. As they drove out, we watched to see if they got on 70 West...they did. Dan turned to me and said, "He must have borrowed the car." I asked why he thought so. "Anybody that dumb couldn't have a job to pay for it." He was probably right.

Spaw