I micht hae foond what ye're luikin' for, in an auld buik ca'd "The Victorian Dulcimer" by Rosamond Campbell. It lists th' sang as bein' wrichten in 1882, an' th' notes declare that th' sang, "came to us from Missouri via the British music hall." Ms. Campbell alsae notes that, "I have discovered a parallel song probably originating in Indiana called "Grandfather's Old Brown Pants." In this version, money rolls from the waistband of the trousers when they are cut up to make a rag rug."

Here's th' lyrics for ye, an' dinnae fear: they're no' in Braid Scots ava'. I'm nae guid at th' fancy HTML wairk, sae ye'll hae tae bide an' bear wi' ma puir formattin'.

GRANDMOTHER'S CHAIR (words & music by Read)

My grandmother she at the age of eighty-three
One day in May was taken ill and died,
And after she was dead, the will of course was read
By a lawyer as we all stood by his side.
To my brother, it was found, she had left a hundred pounds,
The same unto my sister, I declare.
But when it came to me, the lawyer said, "I see,
She has left to you her old arm-chair."

CHORUS: And how they tittered; how they chaffed
How my brother and sister laughed
When they heard the lawyer declare
Granny had only left to me the old armchair.

I thought it hardly fair; still I said I didn't care,
And in the evening took the chair away.
My sister at me laughed; my brother at me chaffed,
And said, "It will be useful, John, some day."
When you settle down in life, get some girl to be your wife,
You'll find it very handy, I declare;
On a cold and frosty night, when the fire is burning bright,
To be seated in the old armchair. (CHORUS)

What my brother said was true, for in a year or two,
Strange to say, I settled down in married life;
I first a girl did court, and then a ring I bought,
Took her to church, and then she was my wife.
This dear old girl and me were as happy as could be,
And when my work was over, I declare,
I ne'er abroad would roam, but each night would stay at home,
And be seated in the old armchair. (CHORUS)

One night the chair fell down; when I picked it up I found
The seat had fallen out upon the floor;
And there to my surprise I saw before my eyes
A lot of notes-- ten thousand pounds or more.
When my brother heard of this, the fellow, I confess,
Went nearly mad with rage, and tore his hair;
But I only laughed at him, and slyly whispered, "Jim,
Don't you wish you had the old armchair?"

--Cuilionn, whae (alas!) disnae hae ony armchair o' her ain.

HTML line breaks added. --JoeClone, 8-Mar-02.