Here's a fine yarn from a Great Lakes skipper, and later newspaper columnist, which was composed as a poem but seems to fit well to such tunes as "Unfortunate Miss Bailey", "Barney Buntline", or "Courtin' in the Kitchen." I've messed with the wording somewhat but hardly ruffled a feather (PM me for the original if you're interested):

THE TALE OF THE DANCING DUCK
(Poem by Captain Ernie Hall, summer of 1909, In Flotsam, Jetsam & Lagan, © 1965 When he was mate of the 3-masted schooner Athens; Bill "Red" Allen was the master Adapted somewhat by Charlie Ipcar 2002 Tune: after "Unfortunate Miss Bailey")

Now Captain Bill of the Dancing Duck,
Was a seasoned navigator;
He'd froze his toes on Baffin Bay
And fried 'em on the Equator;
But habits he had formed quite young
Were such a great expense, sir,
That when payday came rollin' round,
He could not pay his men, sir.

Chorus:

With a toor-um, lor-um, lad,
Toor-um, lor-um, laddie;
With a toor-um, lor-um, lad,
Toor-um, lor-um, laddie!

To Boston Town, of old renown,
Bill lay a course one day, sir,
From Cuba's Isle, all loaded down
With coconuts they say, sir;
But when his crew asked for their pay,
He told them to go swimmin' –
While he cruised up to Boston Town
To mix with wine and wimmen. (CHO)

Each jolly tar cried out, "Har, har!
We'll fix that darned ol' boozer;
We'll show him a trick or two,
We'll show him who's the loser!"
So while Bill was drinking pickhandle hooch,
That came from o'er the boundary,
They stole the anchor from the ship
And sold it to a foundry. (CHO)

And to further fool ol' Bill,
They fashioned one of basswood,
And painted it up anchorwise
Till each man said 'twould pass good;
They swung it from the cathead high,
The Dancing Duck adorning,
Then all jumped ship for a jolly spree
That lasted well till morning. (CHO)

When Captain Bill returned next morn,
He found his lines a-chafing;
A nor'-nor'wester blowing hard
Was giving one awful strafing;
To save his ship he moved with haste,
He cast off all the lines, sir,
And shoved her off into the bay
To anchor where he might, sir. (CHO)

But when he let the anchor go,
It drifted off to leeward,
In consternation Bill found his ship
Was fast disappearing seaward;
And though he flung a signal high
To summon help from shore, sir,
Captain Bill and the Dancing Duck
Were heard from nevermore, sir. (CHO)

Now when them cold nor'westers blow,
A-howling through the rigging,
And sailormen are snug ashore
Their cups of joy a-swigging,
They'll tell about the Dancing Duck:
"Ol' Bill cud never dock 'er,
Unless his wooden hook fetched up
In Davy Jones's locker!" (CHO)

Have fun with this one!
Cheerily,
Charley Noble