Whoops, gremlins again! take 2:
Someone told me a similar story. I would blush to repeat it in company, but on the Mudcat, no-one can see you blush ...

Guy gets cast away on a desert island, etc etc. A couple of years later he's discovered by a passing ship, which sends a nurse over to make sure he's ok before they bring him on board. The nurse, being all girly, is so overcome by this tough, bearded weather-beaten hunk that she wants to make love to him (come on, girls, it's a story, ok?).
"While you've been here," she asks him coyly, "how have you coped without, you know, female company?".
"Well, er, there's this, er, tree," he tells her shyly (but manfully), "with a knot-hole just at the right height ...". Well, you get the picture.
"Wouldn't you like to make love to a real girl?"
"Not half!"
"Just let me get ready .."
And she turns her back and start to take down her panties, when without warning he runs up and kicks her backside so hard she goes flying!
"What the hell was that for?" she gasps.
"Just checking for squirrels!"

And friends, I know, for I was that squirrel!