My thoughts...
You've written a song that isn't as personal is "I can't walk but I can fly" would be. (Are you familiar with Mary Chapin Carpenter's "Why Walk When You Can Fly?") It's wide open to everyone, and we all have to deal with that stifling of imagination that happens when we grow up. It doesn't just speak to me - it speaks for me.

The meter will fit a waltz rhythm (3/4) OR a march (2/4). The overall feel is that you've got two verses, then a third that sort of finishes the thought in the first two. Then you've got two more with a third finishing-the-thought verse. You could use that idea with the tune - an A part for two verses, a B for the third, then repeat.

I'll have to disagree with MMario about using the last verse as a chorus. The whole song builds up to that. If you use it too early, it'll take the "bang" out of the end. I can see a chorus using the "Magic belongs to children" line. I can also see no chorus at all.

And no more of that "rhythmically challenged" stuff!!! You may have a problem writing it down perfectly, but these words have a strong, clear rhythm.

Now come my recommendations for improvment:
PLEASE WRITE A TUNE FOR IT!

Because of a wrong date setting on a Mudcat server, this message may appear out of order. It was actually posted on 6-May, not 5-May. --JoeClone, 7-May-02.