Last things first:

Love the poem, McGrath! Thanks for sharing... I particularly like the lines:

"I haste to share in the splendour
Of water and flower and tree"

Now, on to my efforts. You wrote:

Puff is a good tune for it, Capri, and it carries with it the feeling of the older song.

The thing is, though, I do not want to evoke the feeling of the older song. I consider it more ironic than fitting that the words match the tune as well as they do. I was really hoping this could be an anti-Puff song. "Puff the Magic Dragon" perpetuates the cultural assumption that magic is just an insubstantial fancy of an immature mind.

Even the name: "Puff" Bah! I scoff at "Puff"! Dragons should have names like "Silverwing Thunderclap", "Ruby Eye", or even "Gnarled Muddybottom", but "Puff"? Puh-lease!

...Ahem. ... Yes, well, I got a little carried away there, didn't I? Where were we?

Sentiment aside, I find the melody of "Puff" a little too weak to drive home a strong idea, perhaps because the last key syllables of each line ("Honnalee" and "fancy stuff" in the first verse) end with their notes going up in pitch, as if the singer were asking a question.

I want to rally the listeners with this song, not lead them into dreamland -- to encourage them to reclaim their own reality and to stand up against those who only define power with a paycheck.

And how about "Magic is for children" instead of "belongs to"?