I FOUND JESUS! He was in my trunk when I got back from Tijuana,

I got a sweater for Christmas. What I really wanted was a screamer or a moaner.

No one ever says, "It's only a game." when their team is winning.

If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.

I live in my own little world, but it's OK, everyone knows me here.

If a thing were worth doing it would have been done already.

If your voting could really change things, it would be illegal.

What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it's all about?

Stop the Slaughter! Boycott Baby Oil!

When things look dark, hold your head up high so it can rain up your nose.

It may be your sole purpose in life to simply serve as a warning to others.

Gargling twice a day is a good way to see if your throat leaks.

I can't remember whether I?m the good twin or the evil twin.

SOME DAYS IT'S JUST NOT WORTH GNAWING THROUGH THE STRAPS

People who say you can't buy happiness just don't know where to shop.

Money does grow on trees. It?s just that the banks own all the branches.

GOD IS LOVE.LOVE IS BLIND. Ray Charles is Blind. Therefore, Ray Charles is God.

Don't sweat the petty things. Don?t pet the sweaty things.

ILLINOIS the land of the voting dead

What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?

Don't get married. Find a woman you hate and buy her a house.

Be nice to your kids - They'll choose your nursing home.

Emordnilap is palindrome spelled backwards.

WELCOME TO VIRGINIA Two Hundred Years of History Unimpeded by Progress