WARNING: Some of you may find the following post mildly offensive; some may, indeed, find it extremely offensive. If you feel this might apply to you, please scroll past. If you read it and are offended, then "it's your bad," to use a contemporary African-American idiom.

I know there are colorful expressions for a male's "amusing himself by abusing himself": "choking the monkey," "wrestling the one-eyed snake," "beating the meat," as well as the more mundane: "jacking off," "whacking off," "beating off," etc. Are there similar expressions for female masturbation? --seed