Spaw, I love this!! But I must point out that we have spent whole lifetimes doing jack shit. With what amounts to Black Belt, 10th dan status at this, sometimes that we forget that it isn't so simple as just saying we will do it for them. Sometimes examples are necessary. Let me cite some examples of our services:

Are you a sports fan and just don't have time to watch. For a very nominal fee, we will be happy to come to your home on the appropriate day, eat your food, lay on your couch, and watch the game.....playoff.....match.........whatever.

Got a new hammock, that due to your busy schedule has never been broken in properly? Call LFPS and one of us will personally stop by and nap in it, and see to it that it is properly ready for you when you are. Worried about size? The four of us have varying sized arses and will send the appropriate one of us to see to it that when you are ready to layabout, your hammock will be ready too!

Are you one of these folks who are so involved with your carreer that you have no time for a vacation? Give us a call. We will arrange the appropriate fee and take it for you. And as the leading professionals in the fine art of laying about, we will take all steps to insure that it is appropriately lackadaisical. We will come back from it completely refreshed for you. Satisfaction guaranteed!!

Lane, Fielding, Patterson & Swan.
Layabouts at Large and for Hire.
"It's the least we can do......."