Lots of good points here! Thanks again, everyone, for pondering this along with me. A lot of you seem to think that I "done good" so, okay, I'll try to stop beating myself up about it (that's hard, since I've beat myself up about so many things it's become a bad habit) (I don't know why flamers even bother with me; they can't say anything to me that's worse than some of the things I've said to myself!).
Can't help thinking back, though, to my first experience with death-next-door just about 20 years ago. That case was an accidental death of a baby who had been left for the afternoon with his cousin, my twenty-something neighbor. There again, the neighbor had a substance-abuse problem (drugs) and her husband had recently moved (or been thrown) out. She'd left the infant on a mattress on the floor, next to a baseboard heater, without any pillows to keep the kid from rolling. Then she turned the thermostat ALL the way up, and blacked out, leaving the baby (and her own toddler daughter) unattended. You guessed it; the baby rolled off the bed and onto the heater, and suffered fatal burns. That time, my phone call was to the police when I heard her screams after she came to and found the baby's body. The police were all too familiar with the young woman's problems, having been called to the apartment several times before. I couldn't help wondering at the time if I could have done anything to prevent that death, but it wasn't until then that she woke up to the fact that she had a problem and needed to straighten herself out – too late for her little cousin, unfortunately.
I just have to keep remembering that I'm not responsible for "tending" (as Capri put it) substance abusers. I can befriend but a friend can only do so much if the abuser isn't willing to help himself.
Thank you once again, one and all, for buoying my spirits and giving me the validation I've needed these last couple of days. You guys are great!