some years ago, i was working with a colleague at the side of a main road.

a car pulled up near us and the driver indicated he needed directions.

'am i going the right way for oulton park ?'

i replied saying 'yes, you carry on down here, then you fork off to the right'

after the man drove away, my colleague bursting with mirth looked at me saying 'did you know you just told him to fork off!'