Welcome back, Áine!

I couldn't take time for this Challenge! until after the NW Folklife Festival, and I haven't read the other entries yet (except titles), so here's my humble offering. (I say "humble" because it's extremely derivative of the Winter Wonderland parody sung (and written?) by Bob Rivers. I also took the liberty of presuming to know the thieves' gender and motive.)

Genie §;- )

Walkin' Off With Women's Underwear
Tune: Winter Wonderland - Smith / Bernard, 1934
Parody lyrics by Genie (with insincere aplogies to Bob Rivers

Sirens wail, and I'm list'nin'.
On my brow, sweat is glist'nin'.
They're hot on our tail, but we ain't been nailed
Walkin' Off With Women's Underwear.

Gone away are the boxers,
And those drab cotton dockers,
I clutch my new thong, as we sneak along,
Walkin' Off With Women's Underwear

(bridge)
Lacy undies make me feel so naughty
Make my "glutes' and 'pecs" feel, oh, so sweet!
I love to feel 'em on my manly body
And give myself a wedgie for a treat!

Bustiers, bras and corsets
Fit so tight I gotta force it,
But it gives me a high
Havin' lace on my thigh,
So, I'm Walkin' Off With Women's Underwear.

Instrumental Break

Agent Provocateur's a
Maker of haute couture, so
We're clever enough
To be pinchin' their stuff
And Walkin' Off With Women's Underwear

Katie Moss and Liz Hurley
Are such cute little girlies,
But wait till you see
Bubba and me
Modelling our 'hot' new underwear!

(2nd bridge)
On our privates, no more plain old cotton,
Engineered for stodgy Parson Brown.
Folks say, "Are you married?"
I think, "Not!" -- When
I can do the job myself in silken gowns!"

Trouble is, when we wear 'em,
Struttin' like a Sultan's harem,
It's hard to conceal
That these bras were 'a steal'
When we walked off with the women's underwear.

line correction made per request by mudelf ;-)