Gamine:

In times of tragedy, it seems unnatural not to release grief in tears. A few years ago, a young many who worked at the Museum where I worked committed suicide. He was a member of the church I was going to at the time, and I was asked to give the eulogy. It was a particularly painful time because the young man had been the leader of a boy scout troup and all the scouts were there in uniform, completely devastated. I got through most of the eulogy all right, but I finally reached a point where my emotions overpowered me and I started to break down, so I had to leave the lectern. Later, a woman who I worked with, who I had never seen show any emotion in all the years I'd knownher, came over and asked me if I was all right. I told her that I was fine... that she should check on all the people who didn't cry to see how they were doing.

I only saw my Father cry once, so it was particularly touching. My Father didn't show his emotions... love, or grief. He showed anger and hurt with ease, though. One day when I was home visiting my family, he became so hurt and frustrated that his family didn't agree with him on a surrealistic interpretation of the actions of our next door neighbor that he suddenly started crying. I threw my arms around him and his shoulders just shuddered, as he let a lifetime of feelings of rejection pour out of his soul. I just held him and told him that we loved him very much, until he cried himself out. I never saw him cry again. Perhaps if he had just been able to accept the feelings he had inside and release them, he would have had a happier life.

It's a shame that some men associate being sensitive and comfortable with your emotions as being gay. It's a pity that some men have such a fear of gays and find it necessary to "prove" their masculinity by ridiculing them. I don't find it a contradiction to be masculine, heterosexual and sensitive. We're all just trying to make our way.