Morticia pens: "Having worked with the terminally ill for some considerable time, this scenario really pisses me off. The doctors assumption that your friend has suddenly lost the power of reason by telling his family before him is contemptible and cowardly ( and make no mistake, doctors put this intolerable burden on the family because they don't want the job themselves!)."

I have wondered myself at why it is they seem incapable of simply stating the truth. They state their opinions (read: diagnoses) as fact all the time, regardless of how far off the mark they may be.

If I were the family, I would tell the person, and then I would tell them that the Doctors would not fess up themselves. And perhaps I would suggest we all go down and give the Doc a piece of our mind. Then, maybe this practice will be given a second thought the next time it occurs, at least by that one practitioner.