Annamill, I think you've hit on the important aspect of "falling" in love that allows it to SEEM to be yet NOT BE be a passive and helpless event--" the helplessness you feel when you come to love something or someone WITHOUT EXPECTING TO<.

I'd maintain [in keeping with Amos's first post, above] that when you are unexpectedly, and at a conscious level unwillingly overpowered by what Freud called "cathexis" to, say, your newborn baby or a new lover, some part of you [an important part] wishes to have that connection [even if it doesn't fit with your rational plans for your life. [Amos: "The fact that it is really a river of your own energies, unleashed, the governor uncoupled, usually escapes one's attention!"} You do assent to and participate in this love you have "fallen" into. If you really did not, at any level of consciousness, desire emotional connection with an other, I do not believe you could "fall."

Sometimes God, the Universe, Fate, or whatever you want to call it, slaps you upside the head and wakes you up to beautiful realities/worlds you had tried to avoid. I think this is true when you really "fall in LOVE," as opposed to merely becoming infatuated.