Try this one on for size. These lyrics should be sung to the tune of "On Top of Old Smokey".

My aardvark wears snowshoes,
My grandmother's green,
And my red neon necktie
Can barely be seen.

My aardvark went shopping
For a purple toupee,
When the FBI stopped him
On the Appian Way.

Then without any warning,
The G-man fell dead,
While visions of aardvarks
Danced in his head.

Then a nine-legged chicken
Laid an egg on his toes,
Which hatched out a Martian
With a forty-foot nose.

The nose was so monstrous,
That it weighed down his head.
He turned with great effort,
To the chicken and said:

"My aardvark wears snowshoes,
My grandmother's green,
And my red neon necktie
Can barely be seen."


Stephen