Right. Your bidet.

The partners of Lane, Fielding Patterson & Swan, Layabouts at Large, acting in quorum, in absentia, quim pro quo, coito ergo sum, et al, et cetera, have voted to authorize, in honor of your navel day, a day off, from doing nothing. Therefore, you are authroized to do less than nothing the whole day long, a task for which you are supremely qualified.

So take the day off. Don't feel guilty about the amount of CO2 you're creating today. Or the amount of O2 you're consuming. Somewhere, someone thinks you're worth a shit....really.

Many happy returns of the day, pal.

D&P