Since 1999, your presence here has continued to bring this Forum down to the level of the lowest common denominator. You have made the sublime into the ridiculous on nearly every occasion. You have made fun of people regardless of whether they deserved it or not. You have engaged in long, rambling stories about imaginary rednecks. You have made a travesty of the fine musical Oklahoma! with your pornographic satires. You have failed to render unto Neil Young all the respect due Him, and have instead erected an imaginary mental clinic in His name.

For this and many other reasons, I just have to say...sniffle... I love you, man! Happy Birthday!