Gamine, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I think the problem is more because of where you live than it is a general societal problem.

You live in California, right? I bet if you went to a bar in the Canadian maritimes (and quite likely any number of other places in Canada), you would get an entirely different response than what you've been getting there where you are. I know several men from/in the Canadian maritimes, like our fine friend gnu here, and they seem to prefer women to be much more rounded than what is seen as the ideal in California. I think those values really differ from place to place.

Here in the US, I have spent my whole life feeling a little too jiggly. When I was in Canada visiting friends a little over a year ago, I felt too skinny for the first time in my life. And was I suprised. I had never expected I would experience being considered too skinny.