The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #48652   Message #732131
Posted By: Peter T.
18-Jun-02 - 08:41 AM
Thread Name: How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?
Subject: RE: How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?
Perhaps the best solution would be to get her to take her vocation seriously. This would get her off the damn mountains, and behind bars where she belongs. The guitars and the wooden Canadian actor and the children (not her own!) are snares and delusions. First step: immersion in the works of St. Therese of Lisieux, so she learns humility. Second: immersion in the works of St. Teresa of Avila, so she learns the true meaning of being the bride of Christ (!). Third: listening very carefully to the words of the Holy Father, as he cements his church's relations with the German and Austrian governments in the late 1930's, thus learning mindless obedience. Fourth: penance, penance, penance. Hairshirts, whips, and having to sit quietly while Sister Barbara explains the catechetical virtues of the Saints. Fifth: remove all mirrors and cover the bath water with powder so as to expunge the last vestiges of secret pride that one resembles Julie Andrews. That should do it.

yours, Peter T.