Thanks again Kat and Shambles for your deep, thought-provoking words.
Kat, I couldn't agree with you more that vast swathes of time alone with materials for creativity are the best for kids. We made a choice to live where we do because of the woods next door- 600 acres of relatively private wandering ground.They spend hours there; I think they're growing into pretty wonderful people. I call it "benign neglect" - they are given the opportunity to get to know themselves as their own best friends.
By contrast when they have friends over or go to their homes, it's hurry scurry - they usually head straight to their rooms when it's over to recover awhile!
Allison