Dyin' in a car he'ps a lot...specially if'n yew was drunk at th' tahm. Bein' drunk 'n disorderly he'ps a lot too. Havin' a whole bunch of broken marriages and lotsa kids is jest 'bout required as th' years go bah. Needless t' say, the alimony kin really mount up, if'n yer a mayan. If'n yer a woman then it's 'tother way around.

It don't hardly matter, though, cos th' sheer deelight of bein' a big country and western star outweighs ALL the heartbreak! Why Ah wouldn't trade places with the president hisself fer a career in country music. And who gits the girls? Why, even old Biyil Clinton didn't do as well as a country star does!

Prejudiced? Who's prejudiced!!! Why, Ah let mah houndog eat raht offa th' breakfast plate... Ah ain't prejudiced! Yew jest better watch whut yew say around here, pilgim! We know yer kind, yer probably a danged Amercan-bashin' commie, I bet...

- LH